michelel72 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
michelel72) wrote2019-11-17 06:53 pm
michelel72) wrote2019-11-17 06:53 pm
Entry tags:
Sunday snippet: Sound of Silver #7: Moving along
I got a reader! I asked on FB if anyone knew a place to find alpha readers, and a friend offered! And it turns out she recently started writing fanfic, too!
I'm proceeding with my plan of adding some foreshadowing to "day 3" and early "day 4", and then keeping going through my character's crisis, at which point I'll have to figure whether the now-slightly-less-abrupt resolution works or if it needs to be dragged out across another plot-day. And I have someone I can bounce those thoughts off of!
Days 1-3 are written; 3 is sketchy but there, and it's a good breather, I guess. It can always be filled in later. Now I see how far I can get in day 4.
Emma is both disappointed and pleased to see him when she gets home. She considers the way he's repacking the duffel bag just for something out-of-the-way to do. "Want to play a video game?"
He sits back from the bag. "What do you usually do after school?"
"Oh. Visit my friends, or start homework if I have lots, or read Tumblr, or go to the library …" She trails off, looking closely at him, trying to figure him out. Then she sits down next to him. "You're not in the way, I promise."
Talking with her is kind of scary, but at least it's faster than conversations with most people are. "I am, though. You were going to do something else the first day I was here, but you couldn't because your mom needed you to bring the other kids home."
"I was just gonna go look at Jordan's new lizard. I can do that anytime. I can do all that stuff anytime. But I can't play with you anytime. You'll be gone soon."
"You'll have your real uncle back then, though. And you miss him."
"Well, yeah, but I like you, too!" she protests.
He wants to convince her that she doesn't have to keep searching for things to keep him busy, but she's starting to look stubborn, and she's starting to look upset under that. He doesn't want her to think he's rejecting her or anything.
He's already made his sister cry. He can't stand to do the same to Emma.
I'm proceeding with my plan of adding some foreshadowing to "day 3" and early "day 4", and then keeping going through my character's crisis, at which point I'll have to figure whether the now-slightly-less-abrupt resolution works or if it needs to be dragged out across another plot-day. And I have someone I can bounce those thoughts off of!
Days 1-3 are written; 3 is sketchy but there, and it's a good breather, I guess. It can always be filled in later. Now I see how far I can get in day 4.
Emma is both disappointed and pleased to see him when she gets home. She considers the way he's repacking the duffel bag just for something out-of-the-way to do. "Want to play a video game?"
He sits back from the bag. "What do you usually do after school?"
"Oh. Visit my friends, or start homework if I have lots, or read Tumblr, or go to the library …" She trails off, looking closely at him, trying to figure him out. Then she sits down next to him. "You're not in the way, I promise."
Talking with her is kind of scary, but at least it's faster than conversations with most people are. "I am, though. You were going to do something else the first day I was here, but you couldn't because your mom needed you to bring the other kids home."
"I was just gonna go look at Jordan's new lizard. I can do that anytime. I can do all that stuff anytime. But I can't play with you anytime. You'll be gone soon."
"You'll have your real uncle back then, though. And you miss him."
"Well, yeah, but I like you, too!" she protests.
He wants to convince her that she doesn't have to keep searching for things to keep him busy, but she's starting to look stubborn, and she's starting to look upset under that. He doesn't want her to think he's rejecting her or anything.
He's already made his sister cry. He can't stand to do the same to Emma.