michelel72 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
michelel72) wrote2009-03-08 11:33 am
michelel72) wrote2009-03-08 11:33 am
Agonizing over impulsiveness
I would say I'm not normally an impulsive person, but I don't think anyone can be summarized quite so cleanly.
When it comes to buying things I like, I have certainly shown an impulsive streak. (I try to do "the research" for things like electronics, automobiles, and houses; but when there's no One Right Choice, I tend to lock up, flail, and choose based on fairly random criteria.)
On the other hand, I try to be moderate about starting an involvement with something. I poked around SGA fandom for a while before leaping into the deep end, and I've tried to be careful about just how far afield I take even that; I generally look for recommendations and reviews before getting into new narratives (movies, TV shows, webcomics, books, what have you). When it comes to actual physical involvement, I really tend to hang back. A lot of that is due to a collection of social anxieties -- for example, if I'm at any kind of gathering or event, I tend to feel lost and stressed if I'm not attached to other people I know. I only went to the past two Arisias because I knew I could hang out with good friends.
I also don't tend to just up and travel impulsively. I did spend one October weekend in San Francisco on what amounted to little more than a whim, but that was very atypical of me. I usually take trips only for specific reasons with much advance planning. (It doesn't help that flying is entirely too much of a hassle lately, with the Slapdash Security Regulations of Inanity and the occasional goose-in-the-engine event, and there's only so far I'm willing to drive, and trains take as long as driving while costing as much as flying, and my one long-distance bus trip Will Not Be Repeated.)
And yet ... I only just heard about Writercon a few days ago, and I'm seriously considering going. Even though, as far as I know, I won't know anyone there from RL, and so far I only even recognize two attendee names from SGA fandom.
Basically, I just plunged into a fandom for which canon just closed, and I haven't been this invested in something outside my Original Fic of Eternal Stalledness in years; this may be my only chance to meet like-minded folk before they drift off entirely into other fandoms that I'm not (yet) interested in. It sounds as if there will be a whole mess of "how to write" and "how to beta" panels and discussion. All of my writing-axis knowledge is self-acquired, from the dozens of "how to be a writer" books I absorbed as a teen and from years of reading books and (lately) fanfic -- I've been wanting a slightly more formal environment for a while now.
I'm pretty much trying to talk myself into it, I think. If it were in New England, I'd have registered by now, just because it sounds so cool. But when I add airfare and the whole "taking time from work to up and travel halfway across the country" ... it just seems both random and indulgent. It's not that I can't afford it; I just feel weird about it!
Then again, both![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
violetcheetah and my mother are encouraging me to go. It sounds fun. I'll probably go. ... I think. (heh)
When it comes to buying things I like, I have certainly shown an impulsive streak. (I try to do "the research" for things like electronics, automobiles, and houses; but when there's no One Right Choice, I tend to lock up, flail, and choose based on fairly random criteria.)
On the other hand, I try to be moderate about starting an involvement with something. I poked around SGA fandom for a while before leaping into the deep end, and I've tried to be careful about just how far afield I take even that; I generally look for recommendations and reviews before getting into new narratives (movies, TV shows, webcomics, books, what have you). When it comes to actual physical involvement, I really tend to hang back. A lot of that is due to a collection of social anxieties -- for example, if I'm at any kind of gathering or event, I tend to feel lost and stressed if I'm not attached to other people I know. I only went to the past two Arisias because I knew I could hang out with good friends.
I also don't tend to just up and travel impulsively. I did spend one October weekend in San Francisco on what amounted to little more than a whim, but that was very atypical of me. I usually take trips only for specific reasons with much advance planning. (It doesn't help that flying is entirely too much of a hassle lately, with the Slapdash Security Regulations of Inanity and the occasional goose-in-the-engine event, and there's only so far I'm willing to drive, and trains take as long as driving while costing as much as flying, and my one long-distance bus trip Will Not Be Repeated.)
And yet ... I only just heard about Writercon a few days ago, and I'm seriously considering going. Even though, as far as I know, I won't know anyone there from RL, and so far I only even recognize two attendee names from SGA fandom.
Basically, I just plunged into a fandom for which canon just closed, and I haven't been this invested in something outside my Original Fic of Eternal Stalledness in years; this may be my only chance to meet like-minded folk before they drift off entirely into other fandoms that I'm not (yet) interested in. It sounds as if there will be a whole mess of "how to write" and "how to beta" panels and discussion. All of my writing-axis knowledge is self-acquired, from the dozens of "how to be a writer" books I absorbed as a teen and from years of reading books and (lately) fanfic -- I've been wanting a slightly more formal environment for a while now.
I'm pretty much trying to talk myself into it, I think. If it were in New England, I'd have registered by now, just because it sounds so cool. But when I add airfare and the whole "taking time from work to up and travel halfway across the country" ... it just seems both random and indulgent. It's not that I can't afford it; I just feel weird about it!
Then again, both
violetcheetah and my mother are encouraging me to go. It sounds fun. I'll probably go. ... I think. (heh)
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I hope you seriously consider it, it sounds like it's gonna be a blast!
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You know, I kind of got that at first glance at the cocktail party, and thus sidled over in hopes of generating more friendly, comfortable, and welcoming vibes. I hope I pulled that off, rather than simply piling more anxiety on top of the heap. My heart is generally in the right place, but I fear that sometimes my enthusiasm may exceed my aim.
Which is to say, hi again! Obviously I have trailed you back to your journal, and, if you don't mind, totally intend to friend you. Because I'm friendly like that, and it was lovely meeting you. Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to provide prodding/encouragement/reminder about offering up that story for
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