michelel72 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
michelel72) wrote2019-11-03 10:13 pm
michelel72) wrote2019-11-03 10:13 pm
Sunday snippet 11/3 (Sound of Silver #5)
This is the fic that never ends ...
This is such a talky fic. It's starting to read like a bunch of infodumps strung together. But that's fine; this is a first pass.
... that is up to 46k words on day two of the plot, and day two is only about halfway done. *cries* Day three should be shorter (... please), and there are "only" two other days of real plot after that. Of which the last will likely be the longest ... *cries again*
I feel like the subtitle of this thing should be "low self-esteem vs. *~* f r i e n d s h i p *~*", heh.
"Okay. Sorry, but I did have to check that. Actually, one more -- do you feel safe with me?"
Now she's just being -- he doesn't even know what she's being. "Yes," he says, not actually adding obviously but not bothering to hide it from his tone.
"Just making sure. It's not like you'd volunteer it if you didn't." She gestures that they can start walking again.
He obeys, but he can't leave her thinking that she's done anything to make him afraid of her, and especially not that she's made him too afraid to even say so. "You've been so nice to me, even though I'm a crummy partner. And you keep making --"
"I'm sorry, you're what?" she interrupts, slowing again. Her tone is … not dangerous, exactly, but definitely warning.
He doesn't really want to say it again, but there's no point trying to hide from it. "A bad partner."
This is such a talky fic. It's starting to read like a bunch of infodumps strung together. But that's fine; this is a first pass.
... that is up to 46k words on day two of the plot, and day two is only about halfway done. *cries* Day three should be shorter (... please), and there are "only" two other days of real plot after that. Of which the last will likely be the longest ... *cries again*
I feel like the subtitle of this thing should be "low self-esteem vs. *~* f r i e n d s h i p *~*", heh.
"Okay. Sorry, but I did have to check that. Actually, one more -- do you feel safe with me?"
Now she's just being -- he doesn't even know what she's being. "Yes," he says, not actually adding obviously but not bothering to hide it from his tone.
"Just making sure. It's not like you'd volunteer it if you didn't." She gestures that they can start walking again.
He obeys, but he can't leave her thinking that she's done anything to make him afraid of her, and especially not that she's made him too afraid to even say so. "You've been so nice to me, even though I'm a crummy partner. And you keep making --"
"I'm sorry, you're what?" she interrupts, slowing again. Her tone is … not dangerous, exactly, but definitely warning.
He doesn't really want to say it again, but there's no point trying to hide from it. "A bad partner."
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(Me all day: I don't remember exactly what came next. How do I transition these characters to the next thing I know about? Me just now: Heyyyy, this is where I meant to have Infodump Scene 12 happen so it could lead into Infodump Scene 13 that I pre-wrote and set aside for later! lol @ me)
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... I haven't posted any of the multiple cases where I have Tonya talking for multiple paragraphs. (I don't know if British English does this, but officially, American English punctuation says that if someone's quoted speech is more than one paragraph, each paragraph should start with quotation marks, but each internal paragraph should not end with them. I don't like that convention, especially in fic, so I usually find excuses to insert "stage directions" as intervening mini-paragraphs ... and I ran out of ways to do that! Whyyyyy. (First draft, it's a first draft, just keep reminding yourself it's a first draft ...))