Interview With The Vampire community
23 January 2026 10:14 am

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“Better” is rarely a poor option.
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Val said to Gerek, “Well you didn’t miss much with us. We went down to Earth, but our body-snatchers had already left.” Audri exclaimed, “And Nick broke up with me. Can you believe that?” Gerek asedk, “Did he have a reason?” Audri said, “I disgusted him?” Gerek said, “You deserve better.” Audri replied, “I want Nick. But, I guess I’d settle for ‘better.'” Gerek said, “And how about you, Val. Are you and Lasper an item now?. Surprised, Val said, “Lasper and me? An item? Why would you even think that?” Gerek commented, “It seemed kind of obvious to me. But, “no”? Sorry for assuming.” Val confessed, “Well, I mean, you’re correct.” To clarify, Gerek asked, “So you are, then?” Deflated, Val said, “Well, not that either.”
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I have never been one to care too much about the amount of protein a meal has, but sometimes I see a recipe on Instagram that boasts low calories and high protein and actually looks good, and I find myself tempted to try them out. I mean, if I can eat something healthy-ish and it tastes good, then it’s a win-win, right?
So, after seeing this Buffalo Chicken Hot Pocket recipe, I decided to give it a shot. It seemed like as good a place as any to start with higher protein meals.
Even though the recipe looks long, it’s all pretty simple ingredients, though I did have to go buy quite a few.
So let’s talk about how “quick and easy” it was to make this, how much I had to buy to make it, the time it took, how many dishes it made, and if it actually tasted good.
Diving right in, the first thing was acquiring the ingredients. I shopped at Kroger.
First up, I had to buy a pack of chicken, which ended up being Simple Truth Natural Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast Family Pack for $16.52. I used all this chicken even though it was a big ol’ family pack. Next was Sweet Baby Ray’s Mild Buffalo Wing Sauce for $4.29. I used almost the entire bottle. A block of Philadelphia Reduced Fat Cream Cheese was $3.49. The recipe only needed about a fourth of the block. The recipe calls for a 0% fat Greek yogurt, so I picked Oikos Triple Zero Plain Greek Yogurt, which has zero added sugar, zero artificial sweeteners, and is zero percent fat with eighteen grams of protein (per 6oz serving). I used most of the 32oz container, which was $6.79.
Though I have all-purpose flour, bread flour, and gluten-free flour, I did not have self-rising flour, so I bought King Arthur Unbleached Self-Rising Flour in a five pound bag for $6.29. For the mozzarella, I usually like Sargento’s shredded mozzarella because it’s the only whole milk one I tend to find, but since the recipe specifies a fat free mozzarella, I just went with Kroger Low-Moisture Part Skim shredded mozzarella in the 4-cup size bag for $3.99. I picked Jack’s Special Mild Salsa for my “tomato salsa” which was $4.99 but I have most of the container left over. I also bought Simple Truth Organic Chives for $2.49. And last but not least I bought a Hidden Valley Ranch Seasoning 1oz packet for a whopping $2.39.
I had Daisy brand cottage cheese on hand already, both the whole milk version and the low-fat version, but for this recipe I used the whole milk type since it didn’t specify. Oh, and I used actual whole milk for the quarter cup of fat-free milk it calls for. You’ll just have to live with my substitution.
So, in total, I spent $51.24 on stuff for just this one recipe. I always say you can’t cook dinner without spending fifty bucks, and boy oh boy does that remain true. I swear it’s a literal constant in my life.
Moving on from cost, the first thing to do was to add a bunch of stuff into the Crockpot and let it get cooking. That part was really easy, you just throw the chicken in and add all the spices and whatnot on top, give it a mix and let it cook on high for a couple hours. The only dishes I used for this portion were measuring spoons and a measuring cup. Disclaimer: I did not add the white onion, therefore I saved myself from using a knife and cutting board.
While that was cooking, I blended all the ingredients for the sauce together. I only have a very tiny portable blender meant for protein shakes and smoothies on the go (don’t ask why because I don’t even know), so I had to do it in three or four batches, which meant I mixed everything together in a bowl and then put a couple ladles worth into the blender, blended it and dumped the blended mixture into a separate bowl. Due to my unnecessary steps, you probably will not make as many dirty dishes as I did here. Or as much of a mess on your countertop.
After the sauce was completed, I got to work on the dough. This part was definitely the most time consuming, partially because I decided to be precise and weigh out my ten dough balls to make sure they were perfectly equal. The dough took some work to come together, but after enough kneading, it got there. This portion of the recipe really only took a measuring cup and a bowl, plus the rolling pin to roll out the dough. I set my dough discs aside.
Finally, when the chicken was cooked through, I was very surprised by how much liquid there was in the Crockpot. In the video, when he goes to shred the chicken after its time in the Crockpot, it’s completely dry. I was perplexed why there was liquid in mine, especially when I actually used 100g more chicken breast than the recipe called for. I didn’t want to add my creamy sauce to it while there was so much watery liquid, but I also didn’t want to dump the liquid out of the Crockpot and waste all the flavor that was probably in there.
So, I got to work shredding the chicken to see if it would absorb more as I went. Sure enough, the liquid did reduce quite a bit after the shredding, which took forever and gave my arms a workout. I decided to let the chicken and liquid keep cooking with the lid off for a little bit to see if some of the liquid would cook off or evaporate, and when it finally got decently reduced, I went ahead and added the creamy sauce mixture and all the mozzarella cheese.
It ended up shaping up nicely, and looked like the mixture in the video. All in all, it worked out, it just took extra time. To be fair, the video said cook on high for 2-3 hours and I only did two since the chicken was up to temp.
For the dough discs, I definitely overstuffed the first one, and some of the filling spilled out into the skillet while cooking it. After the hot pocket had been thoroughly browned on both sides, I figured it was done, but when I cut into it, the dough hadn’t cooked all the way through. Though the outside was brown and crispy, the inside was pretty much raw dough. If it had been cooked any longer, though, the outside would’ve burned. I wasn’t sure how to get the inside fully cooked without burning the outside, so this was certainly a predicament.
Plus, my hot pockets were much more oddly shaped than the ones in the video. I couldn’t get a consistent shape and kept second guessing how much filling to put in. It also was pretty time consuming trying to form the hot pockets, and I ended up tearing like two of them. I was definitely frustrated by now, it felt like nothing was working out and I was messing everything up.
After taking a breather and finally eating one of the hot pockets that was cooked through mostly well enough, I am sad to report it was pretty mid. It was fine, but definitely not as good as I had hoped, and definitely not worth fifty dollars and a few hours of work. Though if you consider the fact you get ten hot pockets out of this recipe, it’s only five dollars per hot pocket if you spend fifty on ingredients. I guess that’s not too bad, but I think my feelings of disappointment overshadowed the value of being able to freeze the majority for later.
I will say that there was a pretty decent amount of the chicken filling leftover, whether it’s because I filled the hot pockets the wrong amount or not remains to be seen, but I did like putting the leftover chicken mixture in a tortilla instead. Honestly my main issue with this recipe was the dough. Having the chicken mixture by itself or in a different carb vehicle actually improved my eating experience, I think.
So I would say if you make this recipe, don’t make the dough, and just find something else to put the chicken in, or eat it by itself. Though, there will be less protein in the recipe since the dough was made with protein yogurt. I think that’s worth the trade, though.
Overall, I don’t think I’ll be making this recipe again, but it wasn’t terrible or anything.
Do you like Buffalo chicken? Have you tried Oikos protein yogurt in any of their sweeter/fruitier flavors? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!
-AMS

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Some of you will remember that as a pandemic project I went and made a music studio in my basement. It was a lot of fun, and very cool — but too cool, as our basement is endemically cold, even in the summer, and spending more than a half hour in there is liable to set one’s teeth a-chatter. It ended up limiting the amount I used my studio area; for the last in year in particular I was more likely to record something at my kitchen’s center island than I was in my studio space in my basement.
Fast forward to today, and now I have a new set-up, in the room that was previously Athena’s bedroom. She doesn’t need the room anymore — she has a whole house now — and the room is nicely heated (and in the summer, cooled) and also literally ten feet from my current home office. I’ve done an initial setup, which you can see above. There’s more to be done, including bringing up some more musical equipment from the basement, most notably the drumset, but the setup here is good enough to start recording.
That is, once I get the current novel done. First things first. I consider this a bit of motivation.
— JS