'Tis the season, fa la la la la

So I was at the grocery store last night, trying to stock up on everything I could think of that I might need until next year. I don't care for shopping anyway, and I really hate shopping in crowds.

Grocery stores usually play pop tunes over the sound system, and lately I've found myself singing along with a disturbing frequency. So anyway, last night, there I was at the local Shaw's, and I started to notice that a song was playing. I couldn't quite make it out, and I realized with a shock of dread that it was probably Christmas music.

I despise Christmas music. (Except "Carol of the Bells", which is pretty cool.) Jingle this bell, buddy, I got your reindeer games right here. But it was the latter half of the year; it was post-Labor Day; it was post-Halloween; it was even almost actually Thanksgiving. There's only so long I can avoid it.

So I tried not to hear the music, which never works. After about fifteen more seconds I determined it wasn't a Christmas song after all. I realized with delight that it was just a full-song-length jingle for Cool Whip. I was so happy that I even started trying to make out the melody, and it was about ten more seconds before I realized that I was happily trying to learn a commercial jingle

I hate shopping.