Cater to me, world, cater to meeee ...

I want a structure beta, on-call. Someone willing to just have 27,500 words dumped in their lap (a story in which the climax is an 8,300-word, eight-person argument scene) and able to whip it into shape so it doesn't just trail off into nothing soon after the climax. Also someone willing to either ignore ties to another, 6,500-word story, or to read that as groundwork. And all in fanfic, which requires knowledge of -- or willingness to assume or learn -- the canon.

And, ideally, for free, and swift, and magically knowing what stuff I wouldn't want to change. Gee, I wonder why I don't seem to have one of those just lying around the house ....

(I'll probably just post the silly thing shortly, because ... it's a hobby, and fanfic readers tend to be forgiving of things like wonky structure. But still. How will I ever learn, why can't I just be good at stuff without working at it or studying, blah, blah.)